There are many things in our lives that cause upset, anger and stress. Our families, our relationships, our work, even our leisure activities. We compete, we feel inadequate, we mistrust, we push ourselves too hard, sometimes to the point of exhaustion. To top it all, we feel guilty about the things we are not doing. Not spending enough time with our family, not eating healthily, not exercising, not living up to the impossible standards that society dictates.
Sometimes we need to just stop, take a breath, then take another and maybe even sit down and give ourselves a break. After all, time spent doing nothing, if you enjoyed it, was not wasted time. We are not little mice that need to be on a tread wheel constantly, although we often think we should be. We are in fact sentient beings. We are spirit in a human body, therefore slowing down, calming down and quietening our minds, opens us up to reconnecting with our spirit, and ultimately will make us far more efficient in the long run.
Think about the last time you got angry, (we all do from time to time), now picture the exact same scenario except this time you remained calm…. The situation or argument would have played out very differently indeed wouldn’t it? In anger we become blinded and can often – quite literally – see red!
Allowing ourselves time to breathe, to just be in the moment, helps us to become centred, to become calmed, and in calmness we find clarity.
Having been a primary school teacher for many years, I have learnt that the only way to deal with aggression from children, parents, or other adults is to remain calm. Indeed I have mastered this skill so well that the more incensed a person becomes, the calmer I become. In doing so, it takes the wind out of their sails, (for it is nigh on impossible to argue with a person who refuses to meet like for like), whilst allowing me to see the situation as it truly is. To hear the pain behind the words. Having said this, it is far easier to remain calm when one is not emotionally involved, my own children know just how to push my buttons – on those extremely rare occasions 😉.
Nowadays, after years of parenting, teaching and through many hours of meditation, I have mastered the art of remaining calm (in most situations – we are after all a work in progress) and it has improved the quality of my life sevenfold. It also opened my eyes to the reality of all my relationships & brought about reconnection on a profound level with my own spirit & my spirit guides.
In truth, learning to control the stress factors in our lives, to take hold of the steering wheel and leave the drama behind, or to slam on the brakes before the drama erupts, also has huge health implications. Stress is a very real trigger for many ailments, from headaches to IBS and anything else in between, learning to control what you allow to get under your skin is not just a spiritual issue. Remember, he who angers you controls you, and at any given moment you are capable of reclaiming that control. Being aware of this is half the battle.
I made this movie during my walks on the beach with my familiars and have repeated it quite deliberately, as I find it so calming and hope you will too.
I wish you much success in your endeavours to remain calm and reclaim your life and hope that you have taken some small pleasure from my ramblings. Thank you for reading it 🙂
Easter is nearly upon us and what better time to celebrate the season of spring, fertility and longer lighter days? The season that is full of promise of a fruitful year to come; for this is the real meaning of Easter…
This blog is not meant to give offence to anyone. Any path is real and valid if it leads to enlightenment and greater meaning for that individual.
There are as many paths as there are people and no one path is better, greater or carries more gravitas than any other. For in the end we are spiritual beings – individually and collectively – each on our own journey. It is only important that we allow each other the respect and freedom to walk our own paths without judgement or hindrance.
The facts (not opinions) about Easter:
1. The date of Easter has always fluctuated, changing from year to year. This is entirely due to the factuality that Easter Sunday takes place on the first Sunday that falls on or after the vernal (spring) equinox. Wow, you might say, why on Earth would a Christian festival be based on the cycles of the Moon? Because it is actually a Pagan festival!
2. The Romans sought to control the lands they conquered through unifying their religions and eradicating existing belief systems. In 325CE, the Council of Nicaea decided to hold Easter at this time. Was this significant for the existing Pagan faiths? Yes, of course it was, as the intention was to usurp all pagan holidays and make them Christian ones. This is not a slur on present day Christians, it is simply historically accurate.
3. The very name of Easter is a derivative of the sun Goddess Eástre or Eostré, who was worshipped by the European pagan ancestors. She is the Goddess of growing light and of Spring, her holy days are celebrated on or around the Spring Equinox. The Goddess’ symbols are the hare and the egg. It is also loosely linked to the Babylonian and Assyrian Goddess, Ishtar (often pronounced Easter – the two words being homophones with different meanings).
4. Death of a son and rebirth are common themes that have occurred in various religions for tens of thousands of years. To be brief:
Dionysus, the son of an unfaithful Zeus and a mortal woman, was thrown to the Titans to be killed by the very jealous Hera (wife of Zeus). He was resurrected by his grandmother Rhea, and then became a symbol of new life after bringing his mother Semele back to life.
Ishtar, the Babylonian Goddess, was stripped naked and hung from a tree to die. She rose from the underworld.
Osiris was an ancient Egyptian god, the consort of Isis and father of Horus, and his legend has death, resurrection and also the theme of good overcoming evil. The Eye of Horus is a common symbol of protection against evil, even to this day.
Within paganism, death and resurrection are thematic as life ebbs and flows in cycles. There are times for death, hibernation and dormancy. Then seasons change, bringing new flowers, awakening sleeping trees and generally birthing new life in plants and animals alike. Life, Mother Earth, and everything she sustains is cyclical, as we ourselves, the sentient beings upon this great planet, are the same.
So the real history behind Easter is fairly obvious, after all, what has eggs and bunnies to do with the death of Jesus? Well, pretty much nothing. It does however, have everything to do with the sabbat Ostara, the Goddess Eostre, the coming of spring, and the celebration of new life. That said, it is also a beautiful symbolism for Christians to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus.
The drive to remove pagans from society by overtaking all of their sabbats with Christian ones has begun to come full circle, with greater tolerance now than there has been in a long time, increasing numbers of pagans are more openly happy to reclaim their festivals.
There are small pockets of insanity that still seek to persecute and deliberately misunderstand Paganism, (which is entirely peaceful and has never sought to retaliate against the vilifying and ostracising of their beliefs). Indeed our actions for many many generations speaks volumes.
Don’t forget that this is the case for most Christian celebrations, for example Christmas/Yule, Halloween/All Saints and May as the month of Mary/Beltane which is the beginning of Earth Mother’s rule.
Whichever spiritual path calls to you, however you choose to connect with your higher being, always remember that there is no one way, and there is no right way. There are as many paths as there are people. Ultimately tolerance is the only way forward.
In humility I wish you much joy on your journey to connect with spirit and awaken to enlightenment & understanding. 🙏🏽
Be guided by spirit. This is a phrase commonly used, but what does it mean?
Within each of us lies the key to our problems & the answers to most of our questions, however the real challenge we face is discovering this knowledge. Of course when I speak of problems, I mean deeper issues pertaining to your mind, body and soul, not material or superficial issues like being caught without matching undies 😳 or stresses at work, although don’t get me wrong, these are still pretty serious issues that can impact your life and levels of mortification!
In all our life journeys, each and every one of us have accumulated knowledge, wisdom, and a vast amount of experience. There are things that we know yet do not know we know, (sounds convoluted right?). It is indeed both complicated and very simple.
We live busy lives and in this day and age we are driven more and more to have instant access to everything; instant streaming, instant gratification, instant information etc. all handed to us in a quick and easily decipherable manner. We have become impatient – I know for sure that I was a slave to this for a long time, that pinwheel on my iMac or the sand timer (for all you Microsofties out there), would drive me insane, queues and any other form of waiting annoyed me. What changed for me?Spirituality and above all else, meditation.
Some of us are naturally predisposed to connect with our spirit, to be brief; much depends on our personalities, upbringing and current state of affairs at any given point in our lifetime. For example, my own life has progressed in stages:
As a child I was naturally drawn to nature. I would spend endless hours lying in the garden watching ladybirds crawl over my hand, fascinated by the trees and the fairies that lived at the bottom of my parents garden.
As a teen I was a little wilder and consumed copious amounts of alcohol, however I still enjoyed stillness, solitude and being immersed in music – Guns and Roses & AC/DC were very soothing.
Motherhood brought endless amounts of love and fatigue into my life so stillness pretty much went out the window, along with my figure and my sanity 😂.
But everything in life is cyclical and now with my four daughters nearly all grown and having flown or preparing to fly the nest, I once again find myself taking time to bask in the arms of Mother nature, to meditate and to live a more mindful life.
When I look back over my lifetime so far there is much comfort in knowing that there were no coincidences. Everything that has gone before me has been cumulative in creating the person I am today, if you take time to consider it, this is true for everyone. From being the disgraced 5th child of seven, in a strict Catholic family,who came home pregnant and dropped out of university; to being so young and caught in an abusive marriage; to bringing further disgrace when I filed for divorce and was locked in the house by a deranged husband who decided to smash up our family home, (I filed for an injunction to get him to leave); to finally going back to university to complete my teacher training, which I began with two young daughters and finished – with honours – with four. My life has been tough and joyful and magical and there is not one part of it that I would go back and change, for it created me. We all have our own challenges and demons to face, the key is not to let it consume you, and connecting with spirit is a sure fire way to walk through the flames, relatively unscathed, to discover that you have emerged as a stronger and wiser version of you. I hope in some way to inspire any women (or men) in similar situations to stand strong, you are not alone and there is always a way out.
I once more hear and have reconnected with my spirit (although in truth I never really disconnected), and live a life assisted by my angels, spirit guides and ancestors. A life that is now filled with magick.
Meditation is the key: This is the simple part. Don’t worry about things like transcendental meditation, or images of Buddhist monks or any other concept in your mind that might make meditation feel inaccessible to you. Meditation is fundamentally about controlling your breathing and stilling your body and mind. So basically sit still and breathe. Anyone can do this! At first you may feel that you have to quiet or suppress your thoughts, this is a misconception, let the thoughts come and then let them go, as if you are observing your mind from the outside.
Visualisation: When things or people bother me, I visualise them floating away on a big black cloud, and as they float away I breathe deeply and slowly, focussing only on my body, my lungs and on releasing all the tension, (particular tense spots tend to be the jaw, neck, face, shoulders and sometimes your tummy – so pay close attention to these areas). Visualisation can also be positive; one really effective method that I use is to ‘earth’ my energies and draw positive energy through the earth into my body, visualising it as a golden light that flows into and fills me, healing and cleansing as it courses throughout.
Your mind is a powerful tool, and once you begin to harness it and become the master of your thoughts, instead of allowing your thoughts to rule you, you will find that many stresses ease or disappear from your life.
Finding time to still your mind and body, in the busy world we live in, is a true act of self love, for you are taking care of you. Once you begin to make small changes to your daily life, taking time to be still, this is when you allow yourself to connect and begin to hear spirit; the small wise voice that guides and advises us throughout all our incarnations.
I hope this has been in some small way beneficial to you and I thank you for the time taken to read any part of my ramblings.
Remember if you find yourself walking through flames, keep walking, safe in the knowledge that it will not consume you unless you allow it. We are all a work in progress.
In humility, I wish you peace & light in your darkest times my friends.ૐ 🙏🏽
This piece of music is called Sienna Sky by Dan Gibson. You may like to listen to it whilst you read…
Many of us go in search of spirit. We embark on journeys of one form or another seeking more; in search of deeper meaning & greater understanding of our purpose here on this beautiful Mother Earth.
Our spirit is like a door before us. Hidden in plain sight, waiting and ready for those who care to reach for it.
We still our minds, and open our hearts, and suddenly find that all the foraging was unnecessary, for the door stood before us, waiting patiently to be found.
The tiny intuitive voice of our soul sings to us each day, guiding our journey, a simple yet melodious tune, wanting only to create harmony within and all around us.
Our days are so full, our minds cluttered with the incessant chatter of everyday life, that often we fail to hear because we do not listen. Take time, if you can, to be still, to meditate, to hear and connect to spirit, for once you discover the door it will remain forever opened to you, a small haven in our busy world, a quiet place where we may seek solace, recuperation and wisdom.
I’d love to hear about your own spiritual voyages and discoveries in the comments box below, for it is good to share our wisdom and help each other on our individual paths. Remember there is no one path and there is no right path, there is only your path & you alone can walk it.
My 18 year old daughter sat griping at me today, complaining that I shouldn’t talk when she’s watching a movie. I said, “Babe, movies can be paused, you can’t pause life.”
This week I’m talking about families and living in the moment. The four beautiful girls above are my children and over the past 26 years we have been to heaven, hell and every place in between – emotionally. It was indeed a ride worth taking and there is nothing I would change about them or the past.
Of course it’s impossible to rewind life. We all know this and yet a lot of the time we live as if it is possible. If only we’d all inherited the skill Tim Lake had in ‘About Time’ being able to go back in time and relive or alter the past. Alas, even he eventually recognised the importance of simply living each day as if it were his last. Obviously let’s be realistic, it’s not like we can blow all our cash, tell people we dislike to ‘go procreate’ and head off to the Caribbean, we have responsibilities. I’m talking about the little things, the little moments that, looking back, we realise were the big moments. Hindsight is a great thing.
Now far be it for me to lay any claim to being the worlds best parent. I don’t know all the answers, as I frequently told my eldest child Rose, I may occasionally make a mess of things, you’re the first 12, 16, 18 year old I’ve ever had. This, I learned, was one of the best lessons I could have taught my girls, that we are all fallible, and actually by owning this we created an environment where it was ok to mess up once in a while. But we did try to be good parents and that turned out to be a fairly decent job in the end. Of this we are incredibly proud.
We did our best to live in the moment.
We always ate dinner together at the dining table or breakfast table and dinner times became a time when we sat and talked, learned to take turns – or shout the loudest to be heard, we listened – or debated, we laughed – and occasionally cried, we chastised, praised and ‘discussed’ the necessity for rules. We played hangman on the whiteboard in the kitchen whilst waiting for the slowest eater to finish. We practised times tables and spellings, told jokes, shared riddles, discussed ideas and dreams and friends and enemies. But mostly we laughed – a lot. We never allowed phones at the table, which was much easier several years ago, but even then we let the answering machine pick up at mealtime, and as the years passed we banned mobiles at the dinner table, (this rule still applies, even with our two older girls when they come home to visit, and they are happy to keep up traditions). Dinner time is family time.
A few years back, I was teaching a class of Year 1 children, that’s 5 and 6 year olds. During our little introduction to the lesson I asked them to raise their hand if they had a dinner table at home. Out of a class of 30 children 2 had a dinner table at home. I was flabbergasted to say the least. This meant that 28 out of 30 children regularly ate their dinner in front of the TV every night. This made me very sad indeed. If you have a choice between watching TV and talking to your children, how can there be choice? It’s got to be a no-brainer right?
If we live by the rule that if it can be paused or rewound then it can wait, life would suddenly become so much more meaningful. Life cannot wait, people are real, our children are real, they are ours for such a short time and they’re a long time grown.
We weren’t particularly wealthy but we were rich in so many other ways. We went without holidays when we couldn’t afford them, and one summer I suggested my husband take his holiday in a different way. We couldn’t afford a holiday that year, so he took every Thursday and Friday off over the 6 week summer holiday and we had days out every week, using supermarket vouchers to purchase theme park tickets, we went swimming at the local baths, and went to the park with our dog. The school holidays flew by and we spent so much quality time together. It turned out to be a very memorable summer indeed. Over the years we had many days out at theme parks.
Don’t get me wrong, we watched TV. We all have days when Teletubbies or similar are a godsend when you’re tired, but we tried not to make it the norm. If we watched TV we watched together. For a long time Friday nights were movie nights, (my girls would often moan when I tried to sneak my book in and craftily read instead). We all became avid Disney fans. It’s funny how each of our girls had a favourite movie for their age. With Rose it was Beauty and the Beast, Holly’s was The Lion King. It was hilarious as she went through a phase where we had to lift her up like a little lion cub every time the movie started whilst ‘The Circle of Life’ blasted out. Meg’s was Hercules (in fact Meg got her name as we said Rose could pick one and she also loved Hercules and chose Meghara, we tweaked it to be Megan), and Beth’s was Monsters Inc, and for many years she was called ‘Boo’.
We would go to the park with our various dogs and play or feed the ducks and geese. I remember one time when Beth was about 3 and a half, we were feeding the Canadian Geese when they all decided to come up on the river bank. One gave me a gentle peck on my leg telling me to hurry up and hand over the bread, I suddenly realised that these birds were as tall as Beth and turned to tell her to run back a little only to find that she’d already taken off and was halfway down the path – not bothering to look back -leaving me to be eaten alive by the crazy and somewhat overzealous geese 😂. Another time Meg, whilst feeding the ducks, didn’t notice the ground ended and stepped into the lake 😱. It was a fairly cold day, but her daddy took off his socks and let her have them while he walked back with boots and no socks.
Birthday parties were a hoot – and were bloody exhausting for me! We had no production line ball pit parties, no, ours lasted many hours, with bouncy castles and face painting (by me) with bubble blowing machines in the garden and ham sandwiches, jelly, home made birthday cakes and bucket loads of fun.
We lived and learned and grew and throughout it all we tried to seize the day, carpe diem, savouring the time we have with our girls.
We all work so hard, like salmon swimming upstream, yet if we slowed down and learned to flow, learned to savour each day, hour, minute, moment, knowing that once it’s passed it can never be relived, we might just realise that the things in our lives that can actually be paused should be. For no amount of TV watching , Playstation gaming, or internet browsing can ever replace the feel of the sun on your skin, or wind in your hair, the joy of laughter, or the fun of talking, singing, dancing together. We live on this incredible Mother Earth, and are given so many free gifts in nature. Each day is precious and sadly there is no rewind button for our lives, so live it to the best of your ability on the first take, savouring every moment you can.
Thank you for reading my ramblings, now go outside and play! xx
This weeks blog takes on a slightly different theme from my previous ones. Since I created this site I have had the link to Ancient Egyptian Sex Techniques on my page for anyone interested in exploring them. Today I’m throwing the whole thing in your face in an attempt at bringing to life ‘the unstruck chord’ 😘, so read, think and explore – responsibly!
The focus here, as always, is spirituality, for ultimately we are spirits having a human experience. As many of us awaken to our spirituality – and of course there are numerous paths that can lead to this awakening – we look to connect more with our higher being and hopefully find ourselves becoming more disconnected from the materialistic world we live in whilst learning to let go of stresses and focus on what really matters. Our sexuality when combined with spirit can quite literally be the greatest high of our lives.
First some quick definitions:
Tantric is a Sanskrit word which means to loom or weave and is Hindu and Buddhist in origin involving mantra, meditation and ritual.
Maithunais Sanskrit and means the bringing of two things into one in union in a ritual act.
Kriya means a completed action, like a spontaneous body movement that leads to a completed flow, a mature cleansing.
Maithuna can take place, as a union, purely on a spiritual or metaphysical level (non-penetrative), where you connect using your subtle bodies or spirit, and a transfer of energy occurs. You reach the ‘unstruck chord’ of your lover and your combined spirits dance to the rhythm of the music as your souls create true harmony. Most teachings refer to this experience as the couple incarnated, (with diminished egos), as the Goddess & God, (the female is Shakti and the male Shiva), and such a joining can bring about blissful sensations, waking your whole body in a truly life affirming way. In my personal experience through all my incarnations, there is only one person you can achieve this with in each lifetime and that person is most likely your soulmate. It is possible to achieve a deep spiritual connection with another, but before you experience the bliss there must first be a real and deep connection. Read on and you will understand why…
In order for Maithuna to take place in a physical way there needs to be a joining of spirit and flesh. Joining of the flesh without a connection of spirit is simply carnal. Don’t get me wrong, I do not write this from any seat of judgement. Ordinary sex may be just what you’re looking for, and in most western societies this is in fact the norm, however when the spirit and flesh combine, that is when you can truly explore the deeper tri-level pleasures of Maithuna.
Before I continue, let me just dispel some of the myths surrounding paganism and sexuality. Consenting adults acting responsibly may do as they will. I just want to be clear that being polyamorous is NOT a Pagan thing, it is a PEOPLE thing, a choice some may make. There are people from all walks of life who choose to have multiple or successive partners and that is their personal choice, however the methods I refer to here require a deeper spiritual connection with one partner where you bond emotionally, mentally and spiritually, reinforcing this link every day through aspects of your life together.
Many pagans are married or in committed relationships and the Handfasting ritual is indeed quite lovely and can last many years or many lifetimes. ‘All acts of love & pleasure are my rituals’ can be true for some pagans, where we invoke and connect spiritually with the Divine. However most sexual rituals (The Great Rite etc), are performed privately between a male and female or symbolically using an Atheme and a chalice. Don’t believe all the hype and misinformation out there about Pagans and orgies etc 🙄. (If you are new to paganism you should never feel obligated or coerced to take part in any ritual that you are not totally comfortable with).
I am a heterosexual woman, so I write from my own experience and knowledge. My youngest brother is homosexual and I adore him. The Native Americans refer, rather beautifully, to homosexual/bisexuals as ‘two spirits’. In their wisdom they accepted each human as they are. Those who were born ‘two spirits’ had the spirit of both the male and female within them, often giving rise to creatively gifted or wise humans who could understand both the male and the female perspective.
As you are probably aware I have a very mixed background, (I’ll leave out past incarnations for now), with influences of catholicism, paganism, witchcraft, voodoo and hinduism all tumbled together in tiny 5ft 1″ me. I view this purely as a gift to have first-hand knowledge and experience of so many paths. It also is the reason I write so passionately about individuality and walking your own path. It was inevitable that I would end up on this spiritual and magical journey, viewing all experiences as a gift or a learning experience. Our sexuality is one aspect of this.
The Ancient Egyptian methods of harnessing the energy of orgasm and channelling this energy back into your body is a great way to re-energise.
The symbol of the Ankh, depicted here, is the key to redirecting this energy. To explain it in the simplest terms, during orgasm the energy that builds is released along the spine and through the top of your head towards the 7th chakra. As the energy builds, but just before it peaks, you need to focus and visualise the Ankh, (essentially the loop at the top), drawing the energy back in through your 4th chakra, the heart. This will slow the orgasm and prolong the whole experience. Initially it might be best to practise this on your own until you master the method of channelling your energy. You will know when you’ve managed the technique successfully as rather than feeling post coital sleepiness, you instead feel energised and raring to go!
With Maithuna, orgasm is only a pause in the whole meditation and not the aim. The focus of Maithuna is to join mind body and spirit until you see only the god or goddess before you wearing the features of your lover.
Maithuna is very much more of a meditative and spiritual experience that transcends time and physical being. Hence the reason why it can never be achieved in a casual sexual encounter. There should be no time limit. To explore this method you will need to set aside most of the day or a weekend entirely devoted to each other – on a regular basis!
It is a sacred act capable of elevating a couple to a higher level of spirituality. Trust is very important, so too is honesty and equality. By equality I mean most women are slower to become aroused and therefore need to lead the dance or slow the dance where necessary. Missionary or other positions that place the male in the driving seat aren’t as effective, especially if you are new to these methods.
The most perfect position for Maithuna resembles the star of David. The male crossed legged and the woman on his legs with her legs wrapped around his waist. This gives equality and openness to connect physically, mentally and most importantly spiritually with each other, without dominance or ego.
The entire ritual is a meditation and initially can take place several times and over several days with no genital penetration, only a spiritual joining that eventually leads quite naturally to joining of the flesh. Remember orgasm is never the primary goal here, just a pleasant interlude, which can be channelled and refocussed. This method leads to an almost telepathic link between the lovers, through openness and honesty, therefore you need to have these things present in your relationship before you begin this ritual. Obviously, by partaking in the Maithuna ritual, it is unavoidable that you will deepen and strengthen the bond between you on all levels.
The meditation begins with a slow build up, bathing and massage is a common way to begin. Use candles, incense, rose petals, essential oils (sandalwood or jasmine are particularly lovely). Create a sacred space for you to be entirely together and focussed only on your lover. Maintain eye contact as much as possible, for they really are the windows to the soul. Touch is natural but unhurried. This is the key to the meditation, it cannot be rushed, let your mind settle, your spirits emerge.
Be together in the vibration (energy) not friction (physical). Bask in the sight, sound, scent and feel of your lover. Talk softly together. You will naturally flow to the next stage when you are ready, forming the star of David. Even after physically joining, do not rush, just hold each other, knowing you are safe and together, be slow and still. You might part and eat or drink them come together once more. Focus on breathing and flow, like the waves as you peak and subside, seeing only the divine in each other. It becomes a meditation in reading each other and controlling yourself to please the other but in giving even more is received. Eventually giving and receiving becomes second nature, you lose awareness of whether the touch is being given or received as two truly become one in mind, body and spirit. The whole universe is contained within two that have become one.
This is how Maithuna is reached.
Thank you for reading my ramblings.
May you have many hours, days and weeks of pleasure throughout all your lifetimes together with your lover.