Category Archives: Motherhood

Background Noise

IMG_1320 (1)Be guided by spirit. This is a phrase commonly used, but what does it mean?

Within each of us lies the key to our problems & the answers to most of our questions, however the real challenge we face is discovering this knowledge. Of course when I speak of problems, I mean deeper issues pertaining to your mind, body and soul, not material or superficial issues like being caught without matching undies 😳 or stresses at work, although don’t get me wrong, these are still pretty serious issues that can impact your life and levels of mortification!

quote-do-you-believe-in-reincarnation-i-was-wondering-why-some-connections-seem-so-easy-so-nora-roberts-120-61-22In all our life journeys, each and every one of us have accumulated knowledge, wisdom, and a vast amount of experience. There are things that we know yet do not know we know, (sounds convoluted right?). It is indeed both complicated and very simple.

We live busy lives and in this day and age we are driven more and more to have instant access to everything; instant streaming, instant gratification, instant information etc. all handed to us in a quick and easily decipherable manner. We have become impatient – I know for sure that I was a slave to this for a long time, that pinwheel on my iMac or the sand timer (for all you Microsofties out there), would drive me insane, queues and any other form of waiting annoyed me. What changed for me? Spirituality and above all else, meditation.

As a child I would spend endless hours outdoors playing with ladybirds and talking to the fairies at the bottom of my parents garden (or dressing up as a nurse 😉).
As an adult I retained my love of all things natural, being most at home in the arms of Mother Nature (although I have a somewhat different nurses outfit now 😳).

Some of us are naturally predisposed to connect with our spirit, to be brief; much depends on our personalities, upbringing and current state of affairs at any given point in our lifetime. For example, my own life has progressed in stages:

  • As a child I was naturally drawn to nature. I would spend endless hours lying in the garden watching ladybirds crawl over my hand, fascinated by the trees and the fairies that lived at the bottom of my parents garden.
  • As a teen I was a little wilder and consumed copious amounts of alcohol, however I still enjoyed stillness, solitude and being immersed in music – Guns and Roses & AC/DC were very soothing.
  • Motherhood brought endless amounts of love and fatigue into my life so stillness pretty much went out the window, along with my figure and my sanity 😂.
  • But everything in life is cyclical and now with my four daughters nearly all grown and having flown or preparing to fly the nest, I once again find myself taking time to bask in the arms of Mother nature, to meditate and to live a more mindful life.


This link is to a webpage called “An open letter to my abusive husband.” (

When I look back over my lifetime so far there is much comfort in knowing that there were no coincidences. Everything that has gone before me has been cumulative in creating the person I am today, if you take time to consider it, this is true for everyone. From being the disgraced 5th child of seven, in a strict Catholic family,who came home pregnant and dropped out of university; to being so young and caught in an abusive marriage; to bringing further disgrace when I filed for divorce and was locked in the house by a deranged husband who decided to smash up our family home, (I filed for an injunction to get him to leave); to finally going back to university to complete my teacher training, which I began with two young daughters and finished – with honours – with four. My life has been tough and joyful and magical and there is not one part of it that I would go back and change, for it created me. We all have our own challenges and demons to face, the key is not to let it consume you, and connecting with spirit is a sure fire way to walk through the flames, relatively unscathed, to discover that you have emerged as a stronger and wiser  version of you. I hope in some way to inspire any women (or men) in similar situations to stand strong, you are not alone and there is always a way out.


IMG_6488I once more hear and have reconnected with my spirit (although in truth I never really disconnected), and live a life assisted by my angels, spirit guides and ancestors. A life that is now filled with magick.

Meditation is the key: This is the simple part. Don’t worry about things like transcendental meditation, or images of Buddhist monks or any other concept in your mind that might make meditation feel inaccessible to you. Meditation is fundamentally about controlling your breathing and stilling your body and mind. So basically sit still and breathe. Anyone can do this! At first you may feel that you have to quiet or suppress your thoughts, this is a misconception, let the thoughts come and then let them go, as if you are observing your mind from the outside.

Visualisation: When things or people bother me, I visualise them floating away on a big black cloud, and as they float away I breathe deeply and slowly, focussing only on my body, my lungs and on releasing all the tension, (particular tense spots tend to be the jaw, neck, face, shoulders and sometimes your tummy – so pay close attention to these areas). Visualisation can also be positive; one really effective method that I use is to ‘earth’ my energies and draw positive energy through the earth into my body, visualising it as a golden light that flows into and fills me, healing and cleansing as it courses throughout.

Unknown-1Your mind is a powerful tool, and once you begin to harness it and become the master of your thoughts, instead of allowing your thoughts to rule you, you will find that many stresses ease or disappear from your life.

Finding time to still your mind and body, in the busy world we live in, is a true act of self love, for you are taking care of you. Once you begin to make small changes to your daily life, taking time to be still, this is when you allow yourself to connect and begin to hear spirit; the small wise voice that guides and advises us throughout all our incarnations.

I hope this has been in some small way beneficial to you and I thank you for the time taken to read any part of my ramblings.

Remember if you find yourself walking through flames, keep walking, safe in the knowledge that it will not consume you unless you allow it. We are all a work in progress.

In humility, I wish you peace & light in your darkest times my friends.ૐ 🙏🏽

Blessed Be )0(



Life on rewind


img_2030My 18 year old daughter sat griping at me today, complaining that I shouldn’t talk when she’s watching a movie. I said, “Babe, movies can be paused, you can’t pause life.”

This week I’m talking about families and living in the moment. The four beautiful girls above are my children and over the past 26 years we have been to heaven, hell and every place in between – emotionally. It was indeed a ride worth taking and there is nothing I would change about them or the past.

Of course it’s impossible to rewind life. We all know this and yet a lot of the time we live as if it is possible. If only we’d all inherited the skill Tim Lake had in ‘About Time’ being able to go back in time and relive or alter the past. Alas, even he eventually recognised the importance of simply living each day as if it were his last. Obviously let’s be realistic, it’s not like we can blow all our cash, tell people we dislike to ‘go procreate’ and head off to the Caribbean, we have responsibilities. I’m talking about the little things, the little moments that, looking back, we realise were the big moments. Hindsight is a great thing.


Now far be it for me to lay any claim to being the worlds best parent. I don’t know all the answers, as I frequently told my eldest child Rose, I may occasionally make a mess of things, you’re the first 12, 16, 18 year old I’ve ever had. This, I learned, was one of the best lessons I could have taught my girls, that we are all fallible, and actually by owning this we created an environment where it was ok to mess up once in a while. But we did try to be good parents and that turned out to be a fairly decent job in the end. Of this we are incredibly proud.

We did our best to live in the moment.

img_2063We always ate dinner together at the dining table or breakfast table and dinner times became a time when we sat and talked, learned to take turns – or shout the loudest to be heard, we listened – or debated, we laughed – and occasionally cried, we chastised, praised and ‘discussed’ the necessity for rules. We played hangman on the whiteboard in the kitchen whilst waiting for the slowest eater to finish. We practised times tables and spellings, told jokes, shared riddles, discussed ideas and dreams and friends and enemies. But mostly we laughed – a lot. We never allowed phones at the table, which was much easier several years ago, but even then we let the answering machine pick up at mealtime, and as the years passed we banned mobiles at the dinner table, (this rule still applies, even with our two older girls when they come home to visit, and they are happy to keep up traditions).  Dinner time is family time.

A few years back, I was teaching a class of Year 1 children, that’s 5 and 6 year olds. During our little introduction to the lesson I asked them to raise their hand if they had a dinner table at home. Out of a class of 30 children 2 had a dinner table at home. I was flabbergasted to say the least. This meant that 28 out of 30 children regularly ate their dinner in front of the TV every night. This made me very sad indeed.  If you have a choice between watching TV and talking to your children, how can there be choice? It’s got to be a no-brainer right?

If we live by the rule that if it can be paused or rewound then it can wait, life would suddenly become so much more meaningful. Life cannot wait, people are real, our children are real, they are ours for such a short time and they’re a long time grown.

Our fridge at home with many photos from theme parks – collected over many years – don’t zoom in, there are some really embarrassing but funny ones in there!

We weren’t particularly wealthy but we were rich in so many other ways. We went without holidays when we couldn’t afford them, and one summer I suggested my husband take his holiday in a different way. We couldn’t afford a holiday that year, so he took every Thursday and Friday off over the 6 week summer holiday and we had days out every week, using supermarket vouchers to purchase theme park tickets, we went swimming at the local baths, and went to the park with our dog. The school holidays flew by and we spent so much quality time together. It turned out to be a very memorable summer indeed. Over the years we had many days out at theme parks.

Don’t get me wrong, we watched TV. We all have days when Teletubbies or similar are a godsend when you’re tired, but we tried not to make it the norm. If we watched TV we watched together. For a long time Friday nights were movie nights, (my girls would often moan when I tried to sneak my book in and craftily read instead). We all became avid Disney fans. It’s funny how each of our girls had a favourite movie for their age. With Rose it was Beauty and the Beast, Holly’s was The Lion King. It was hilarious as she went through a phase where we had to lift her up like a little lion cub every time the movie started whilst ‘The Circle of Life’ blasted out.  Meg’s was Hercules (in fact Meg got her name as we said Rose could pick one and she also loved Hercules and chose Meghara, we tweaked it to be Megan), and Beth’s was Monsters Inc, and for many years she was called ‘Boo’.

IMG_5003We would go to the park with our various dogs and play or feed the ducks and geese. I remember one time when Beth was about 3 and a half, we were feeding the Canadian Geese when they all decided to come up on the river bank. One gave me a gentle peck on my leg telling me to hurry up and hand over the bread, I suddenly realised that these birds were as tall as Beth and turned to tell her to run back a little only to find that she’d already taken off and was halfway down the path – not bothering to look back -leaving me to be eaten alive by the crazy and somewhat overzealous geese 😂. Another time Meg, whilst feeding the ducks, didn’t notice the ground ended and stepped into the lake 😱. It was a fairly cold day, but her daddy took off his socks and let her have them while he walked back with boots and no socks.

roses-birthday-1Birthday parties were a hoot – and were bloody exhausting for me! We had no production line ball pit parties, no, ours lasted many hours, with bouncy castles and face painting (by me) with bubble blowing machines in the garden and ham sandwiches, jelly, home made birthday cakes and bucket loads of fun.

We lived and learned and grew and throughout it all we tried to seize the day, carpe diem, savouring the time we have with our girls.

My girls at Thorpe Park last year


We all work so hard, like salmon swimming upstream, yet if we slowed down and learned to flow, learned to savour each day, hour, minute, moment, knowing that once it’s passed it can never be relived, we might just realise that the things in our lives that can actually be paused should be. For no amount of TV watching , Playstation gaming, or internet browsing can ever replace the feel of the sun on your skin, or wind in your hair, the joy of laughter, or the fun of talking, singing, dancing together. We live on this incredible Mother Earth, and are given so many free gifts in nature. Each day is precious and sadly there is no rewind button for our lives, so live it to the best of your ability on the first take, savouring every moment you can.

3 of my girls and I – they’re all taller than me, but I am only 5ft 1″ 😉

Thank you for reading my ramblings, now go outside and play! xx

Peace & light to you all 🌟ૐ )0(